The true belief in the oneness of God Almighty and understanding the purpose of life enables a person to be righteous in his actions. This righteousness demands moderation in worship and worldly affairs. The Quran clearly says that righteousness is following the commands of Allah. Anything that is prescribed by Allah and made known to us by the Rasulullah is compulsory and we have to abide by it to be righteous and close to Allah.
Righteousness is of course the key to success in this world and hereafter according to Islamic theology. But raising a righteous kid in a secular society is not an easy job. Good upbringing begins from family. From early childhood parents need to make sure that the child has a healthy loving relationship with parents, siblings, friends, and other people that matter. Above all we need to make sure that the child has a loving relationship with the Creator. This is really important because this is the best way to make sure that a child will love his/her religion and will not take it as a burden.
Love of the Creator, Allah (SWT)
In a world where identity crisis is another very important concern for parents, the true love of the Creator is necessary to raise a confident, satisfied, progressive child with a positive outlook on life. Beware this is something that you need to develop from an early life. The earlier the better. The God that created everything is merciful and loves mercy and this is something we need to tell our kids.
Some parents tell their kids that if they will do such, such, or such tings they will invoke Allah’s wreath. Allah is several times more merciful than a mother. Will you tell your child that you will punish him in fire if he will do something bad. Of course no, rather we all the time make sure that our kids know that we forgive them for anything bad they do. The way to tell a kid about punishment is by telling him that punishment is not for the sake of punishment but to teach them that what they did was something harmful or dangerous for them. But the way we tell our kids about Allah’s wreath is totally different. Mostly it is something that is not something that their tiny brain can understand. As a result the child thinks of Allah as someone who is more severe on punishment than merciful.
Righteousness and happiness go hand in hand
A person cannot bring righteousness in his actions until he fully understands and accepts the happiness that is achieved when you believe in the commands of Allah. This brings peace in his life and he accepts ecstasy and adversity with contentment as it is only the will of Allah that placed him in such a situation. Though it is hard sometimes to understand the difference between feeling content in every situation in your life and passively accepting adversity. Happiness does not mean that a person should stop using his physical, mental and emotional powers to change his adverse situation. Allah does not help a person who does not want to change his own situation. Also Allah says that a Muslim should always pray for good times but once he is in some difficult time he should be patient.
When parenting modern day children we should not forget that they cannot be righteous until they are happy with what they are doing. The sense of pride, satisfaction, and happiness in the religion and its rituals is important to inculcate from early childhood. This is the only way to bring a permanent change. It means that the child should identify and accept his identity and should be able to carry it proudly.
The unique challenges
It is said that each child is born for his time and you cannot force him to live a life like you lived. The challenges of each time are different and so should be the way to deal with those challenges. It is the job of the parents to understand how to teach the child to deal with those challenges. It is not only that the time changes between generations but among a single generation every child is different. Each sibling is different and so we require unique parenting methods to make the child a strong, resilient, and confident adult.
You cannot force religion on your child
Do not force religion on your child, do not make it a burden for him. Let him ask questions about the deen and answer these questions satisfactorily. Only then in a natural manner the child will accept the religion and there will be a permanent acceptance. Let your child ask the most wild questions about religion but answer them in the best manner. If you do not know the answer yet tell him that you will read about it. Be mindful that if you tell your child that you will answer him later make sure that you answer him.
Your child should accept their identity proudly
The illusion of this world tints our identity and often the riches of the world dominate us. These worldly desires make us a slave to their worship. And we forget that it is only Allah that we should worship and should follow. We should tell our kids that it is only Allah that we follow and should not fall short when we have to stand up for our religious identity.
Our children should progress in religion
Preaching religion is the duty of every Muslim. It can be done in so many ways and it is a charity that has continuous benefits. Therefore, we should groom and raise our kids from the beginning with an aim to be able to promote their religion, Islam.